Humans are social creatures and form bonds of affection and friendship to avoid feeling lonely and to boost their self-esteem. However, we sometimes encounter fake people whose only goal is a relationship that is beneficial to us. As we are often painfully reminded, not all people who pretend to be friends are really friends. How can we get to know such people and avoid disappointment?
If we learn to distinguish between rewarding and calculating friendships, we can choose well who we want to spend time with.
Phony
We talk a lot about phony and hypocritical people. This vocabulary is very much applicable today. Unfortunately, there are no studies that separate these types of people into distinct categories. A person can be very sincere in some areas of their life and yet be a hypocrite in others. Hypocrisy has many faces, and it is very important to learn how to recognize them.
Characteristics of Hypocrites
1. Too much interest
You get close to someone and suddenly he wants to go everywhere with you. You don\’t know why, but he wants to know everything about you, even your weaknesses. That alone should be a warning. The phony tries to get you to open up to others as much as possible and expose your weaknesses. A relationship built too quickly is usually a sign of false friendship and mere feigned interest.
2. Always smiling
The fake person is always smiling. This is because they are trying to please others and use nonverbal expressions as a strategy to do so. This forced smile is discernible because it is not a real emotion.
3. Passive-aggressive
This trait is very harmful to us. Fake people do not express straight out what is bothering them. Therefore, they constantly try to make us feel bad. It is a premeditated strategy to make others feel insecure.
4. Use vague compliments
Fakes can create compliments that are likely to hurt the other person. A friend compliments your clothes, but at the same time gently suggests that they don\’t look good on you. She compliments your child, but adds that you need not worry because the child will grow up quickly.
How do you recognize a fake friend?
It is very easy to spot a fake friend, but the problem is that sometimes we don\’t want to admit who the person is. We simply don\’t want to believe them. Such revelations mean personal disappointment, and the fear that it won\’t work out again makes it difficult to find new friends.
A false friend is one who seeks you out of calculating desire. He does not rely on you for important projects, and he is not there when you really need him. He is only there when you are having fun, and when you are in a group, he often creates anxiety in you.
